Research has shown that children who have a secure attachment with their parent, otherwise known as a good parent-child bond, continually excel in areas such social skills, self-confidence, academics, emotion management, empathy and competency. Playful parenting requires intention and skill, and it ultimately results in the development of secure attachment for your child.
Playing with your child is an avenue of developing a secure attachment with your child. Dr. Gary Landreth, along with Dr. Sheila Eyberg, pioneered Child-Directed Play Therapy to provide a natural and non-threatening way to improve the parent-child relationship as a means to improve the child’s behavior. Play not only helps us to feel connected to those we play with, but it also helps us think creatively, explore, communicate and develop a positive sense of self. Additionally, play provides an avenue for developing the social skills necessary for children to learn to get along with others, which is a key component to a child’s healthy development. Although child-centered play therapy is a technique utilized by Play Therapists, and other professionals who use play therapy in practice, there are some great ways that you can use play with your child to strengthen your parent-child bond.
So, how do I foster healthy attachment with my child?
Asking this question may seem like it is unattainable. However, you have the skills already in you and in your family! We are all wired for connection, which is a key component of attachment development. Here are some key tips you can use right away:
1. Engage in Play
Being a playful parent is a key way to build and strengthen your bond with your child. Get on the floor with your child and join your child with what your child chooses to play with. Spend unstructured and protected time involved in what they are doing, instead of allowing yourself to be distracted by emails, texts, Facebook posts, Tweets or your to-do list. Let your child lead the play, and watch your child’s creativity, ability to communicate and connection with you blossom! Engaging with your child communicates that you value your child, you are interested in what they are doing, and most importantly that you care about your child’s thoughts, emotions and dreams.
2. Use Praise
Use descriptive and specific phrases to praise your child. For example, “I like the way you asked for help when you were frustrated”, instead of using “Good job”. This provides an opportunity for you to notice the child’s decision making, problem solving skills and pro-social interactions. This gives the child insight as to what your expectations are, and contributes to the child’s development of self-concept. These are all important elements of your child’s healthy development.
3. Teachable vs. Teaching Moments
Narrate the child’s play, and notice and explain what you are experiencing while playing with your child. You might say “I saw that you chose the green crayon”, or, “You are focusing on building a tall tower”. This communicates to your child that you are interested in what they are doing, that it matters to you, and that you are present and in the moment with your child. Avoid the tendency to use teaching moments, such as “What color is that block?” which is natural for adults. Teaching has its place and time, and is used in educational moments, not necessarily in playful moments.
4. Have Fun!
Welcome the opportunity to play with your child as often as you can so that you can experience life in their world. Lessons learned through play, and in a playful manner, are more meaningful and easier to apply in their world and relationships. Making it fun helps it to stick!
Playful Parenting has many benefits for your child….and you!
When you embrace playing with your child, you not only enter into a world of fun, you are also cultivating a secure attachment with your child. This bond with your child communicates mutual respect and trust, which are important components for your child’s healthy development. Play is natural for children, and a safe place where children can communicate openly, express emotions and learn to cope with what they may be struggling with.
For more information, connect with one of our Play Therapists to help you and your child embrace the therapeutic powers of play!
