Around the world, from October to February, millions of people celebrate important cultural holidays. For many of us, imagery such as twinkling lights, gatherings with family and friends, cultural food, and heartwarming traditions come to mind. However, for those struggling with grief, this time of year can feel particularly heavy. When dealing with grief, something like an empty chair, a missing holiday dish, or silence where laughter used to ring out can bring about a wave of emotions that can feel overwhelming.
As a counselor who specializes in grief, I believe grief is a journey that continues throughout the lifespan. It may get easier as time passes, but it is not something that simply goes away. Your love for your person will never fade, and you will continue to feel their presence and absence. In this post, we will explore how to create an environment of peace, compassion, and understanding in a time of grieving.
1) Be gentle with yourself
After losing a loved one, it is essential to hold space for your feelings and compassion for yourself. It is not a question of if painful memories, feelings, and thoughts will come up—they will. Allow your holiday grief to simply be what it is, and do not try to push against or change it.
2) Use coping strategies
Using strategies such as mindfulness and grounding exercises can be helpful when feelings get overwhelming in the moment. 54321 is a common grounding technique, but you can use any that feel relevant to you. When you feel overwhelmed, look around wherever you are and find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This strategy helps to shift your attention back to the present moment.
3) Honor your loved one
Holidays often center around rituals and traditions, and it is important to continue to participate in ones that are important to you. Within those rituals, you can also find ways to honor your loved one, perhaps sharing fond memories at dinner, creating a memorial ornament, or participating in a ceremony of some kind. If religion or spirituality is important to you, express it however you see fit.
4) Keep what matters most
If you surround yourself with people you love and make you feel loved, you will be more able to find pockets of joy, laughter, and togetherness, which all help with the journey of grief. This can also look like setting boundaries around what you can and cannot do this holiday season. If that means gatherings are smaller or have fewer activities, that’s okay too.
If you or someone you know is struggling to navigate grief this holiday season, please reach out for support. Embark is here with specialized counselors who know how to help you through this time.
Below are some additional resources to help you as you move through this season.
Grief Resources in KC:
- Solace House Kansas City
- Camp Erin
- The Compassionate Friends
Resources:
- Healing your Holiday Grief by Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt
- good-grief.org
