This October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. It is a month where we honor the lives lost and the families who are grieving. It is estimated that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss. Therefore, it is likely that you have either experienced this unique type of grief yourself or have a loved one going through this experience.
Pregnancy and infant loss can feel isolating despite its prevalence in our world. As Davis (2016) noted in her novel, death of a baby has historically been a hidden experience from society for a wide variety of reasons including discomfort, fear, and a lack of understanding. Due to this, it is especially important to support and connect with grieving parents. You may be wondering how to support grieving parents. Below are just a few ideas that can foster connection, empathy, and validation for bereaved parents.
How to Support Grieving Parents
1. Ask parents about their child. Just like all parents, bereaved parents love to talk about their children. Even if a parent is expressing grief and sadness, it allows them to keep the memory of their child alive. Avoiding conversations with parents about their late child can continue the feelings of isolation. Connection heals!
2. Ask parents how they would like to be supported. This question can be a simple way to connect with the parents, let them know you care, and provide them the space to advocate for how they prefer to be supported. Everyone grieves differently, and the act of asking what they need and desire communicates that you care about their genuine experience.
3. Provide a meal. This action is a classic, traditional way of supporting bereaved loved ones that has been present in our society for generations. Food is a wonderful way to communicate comfort and love as it can be a symbol of emotional nourishment. Whether you buy your favorite meal or make a classic home comfort dish, it relives parents of one more worry from their day.
4. Gift an object of remembrance. Gifts are a concrete way of honoring the life the child lived and to continue keeping their memory alive daily. There are many companies that make unique remembrance gifts, such as jewelry and other art forms. However, handmade gifts can be just as special. This is truly a gift where the thought behind it matters!
5. Join them in activities they enjoyed before the loss. While some parents prefer to be alone to process privately, some welcome a joyous distraction that connects them to their pre-loss life. Even though sitting with grief and feeling all the necessary emotions that come with it are an essential part of processing through loss, distraction can provide temporary relief and remind parents that there can still be joy and life in grief.
There is no perfect outline on how to support bereaved parents. The important message behind any action, gift, meal, or conversation is connection and care. Every moment a parent is supported in their grief, they take a step towards healing. Take this month as a time to support the people you love who are grieving the children they have lost!
If you or a loved one are needing support during a time of grief, counseling is a wonderful resource. We have providers who specialize in perinatal mental health, grief, and child and infant loss ready to walk with you or your loved one on your journey towards healing.
Sources:
- Cline, D. L. (2016). Empty Cradle, Broken Heart Surviving the Death of Your Baby. Fulcrum.
